JUST READ AND CARRY ON

Have you ever been so hard with yourself? As if you are worth nothing for all the mistakes you have made. As if you do not deserve forgiveness or mercy. As if you are reduced to the most minute kind of human, the least form, the unknown. We all have these tendencies. Most of the time I feel this way. The bitterness in my soul is making me un-human. For a long time, I tried fighting off this kind of feeling, but it keeps on coming back like the pull of gravity pulling things back down.  I have kept myself busy to run away. But there is nowhere to go. I keep hiding with nowhere in particular. I tried not being myself only to cause more disappointments and frustrations. The feelings are not at all better. The insecurities are growing, the bitterness consuming.  The antidote for loneliness, I find in prayer; being alone in reflection and meditation. Christ is ever-merciful and forgiving. I have sinned in act and in thoughts. I have sin in small ways and great ways. I have ...

Minsan sa ating buhay, darating tayo sa puntong hindi na natin kaya ang bigat na ating nararamdaman. Sisigaw tayo, iiyak ng taimtim, papatak ang maraming luha, magtatanong kung may nakakaunawa, at maaring mag-iisip na wakasan na ang lahat. Mahirap maging "tao", mahirap ang mga balakid at problema pero sana atin ding maisip na posible itong masolusyonan.  Galing ako sa isang mahirap na pamilya ; walang trabaho ang aking ina at ang ama ko nama'y farmer lamang. Mahirap ang aking naging buhay, hindi naging madali mawalan ng baon para makapasok sa eskwela. Hindi madaling umiyak dahil wala ka ng pamasahe or pambayad ng matrikula. Minsan kong naitanong kung bakit napakatanga ng aking mga magulang, kung bakit wala silang pera at hindi nila kayang maibigay ang aming mga pangangailangan. Nakapagtapos ako sa isang public school ng elementary at sekondarya. Sa katunayan, class salutatorian ako sa Special Science Class ng isang National High School sa amin. Kahit sa sobrang hi...